I am Lorena Borjas
Who am I? It seems to be an easy question to answer, but in reality I had a lot of thinking to do and process. Maybe because I don't get asked a lot to talk about who I am? I thought about what has shaped me to be the way I am now. What have I went through to become what I am today. The people who influenced me as I was growing up. The music, the shows, the movies I was brought up with. I also thought on the different identities I take depending on the setting I'm at, and I behave the way I behave the way I do.
So I'll start by saying that I come from two immigrant parents (Manuel Macias Borjas & Blanca Campos Borjas). I was born in El Paso, Texas twenty-four years ago. I am the youngest out of four siblings. I come from a household where we only talked in Spanish. I remember we listened to my dad's Corridos, Cumbias, and Nortenas. The only English music we listened to was Oldies. I lived in the Northeast side of town for a while just as I got to the first grade. I remember being quite a loner in school. But then, it was after our Thanksgiving break on second grade, we moved to the Central side of town. There I attended Zavala Elementary school. There I made friends and for some reason it seemed easier to make friends there than in my old school. I graduated from Zavala elementary, moved on to go to Henderson middle school, and from there to Jefferson High school.
When I arrived to Zavala elementary I was put into bi-lingual classes, but never I never spoke English to communicate with the teachers. We read some books in English, but we mainly communicated with our teachers in Spanish. Maybe because the teachers knew a lot of Mexican kids attend that school. Do not get me wrong we also had those kids that spoke good English. In fact when we took our TAKS test in the fifth grade I was the only one in the bi-lingual classes to pass all of the tests. My teacher was really proud of me, but now that I'm grown I think maybe the reason why some of them failed was because of the fact that the tests were in English.
Thinking back, I really did not have the need to talk in English throughout elementary all the way to high school. It was until college when I realized that I needed to communicate more in English because I was no longer in my territory. I then became uncomfortable with my English because even though I could speak it I realized I had an accent. The accent that I have become so ashamed of. My accent in a way has become one of my insecurities, throughout my college years. Even though I know there's other students with heavier accents I know that there is also those who nearly have no accent. I feel the pressure then to try to get rid of it. Sometimes I'll holdback on my questions or comments in school because I do not know if people are going to judge me because of my accent.
Growing up in Central shaped me in a way were we were not truly allowed to show weakness. When we got there it was still the time where the Cholos existed. If you were called on for something by someone who did not agree with you, you would fight with them, and you could not backdown from a fight. You needed to have your own back if you were picked on. Sort of this mentality that I had a that time was also influenced by my brother. He told me if I were to ever picked on, not to ever take it from anyone. But he was in that cholo back then and he had that hood mentality. I was brought up to be a strong individual because of where I was brought up, and because the men in my family taught me to be that way. I also remember looking up to my father thinking how strong he was because even though he went through his daily struggles to provide for us, his family I NEVER saw him breakdown, but only once in my life (well before my mom fell sick, three years ago). My sister and my cousins have always told me that they admire me for how strong I am, but I'm telling you now the reasons why I think I'm that way. I remember once we had a class assignment in high school in which we had to talk about who we looked more up to our mothers or our fathers, and I remember saying my father. I remember my teacher asking me why? And me responding because he's the one with the greater income in the household. I remember thinking at that moment hopefully one day I could earn good money like him so I don't ever have to depend on a man. Do not get me wrong I love my mom, but my dad had a little extra to him that made him admire him more. Every since I can remember my dad has always been a hardworking man. For that reason I think I am a very hardworking person. He was a man who showed us respect, and for that reason I think I'm a respectful person. He's a man that has taught me if you want something, you have to go and get it. I consider myself to be ambitious to want more and better things in my life. For example earning my degree. I think I got that from my dad. I remember once we had a conversation perseverance. I remember him saying "it's about what you want, how bad you want it, and what you're willing to do to get there". I remember him also saying in Spanish "Ay que darle chingazos ala vida". Those words are still applied in my everyday life.
I am also a caring person, and I believe that came from my mother. As she was always watching out for all of us. And she always wanted to see us united as a family. She watched out for all of us. Even though I have no kids I like to watch out for my family members just as my mom once did.
I have also been told that from the family I'm the more outspoken one. The blunt one. My mom would always tell me to hold my tongue back just so that I would not create any problems. So that I would not find myself in trouble for speaking too much. My sister always told me that she does not understand how I could tell my dad certain stuff she would not. My dad could tell her something, but she would respond back with an o.k., but if my father tells me something I do not agree with I would call him off on it. I do not consider myself to be a rude person, but If I don't agree with you best believe I'll let you know. It's rare but, I might even forget about the shame of my accent.
As for my work identity it relates to the identity I have at home. I am an employer at Cinemark. I have worked there for almost three years and eight months. For the most part I feel comfortable to be who I am there. Most of my co-workers are from Mexican descent but, hardly speak any Spanish. I communicate with them in English and Spanish and they understand me. I feel like I could express myself freely there as a Mexican-American person because I've spent so much time there I can't hide what I am. They know about my accent, my cholo brothers that are all tatted up, and how much I love eating hot Cheetos with lime and Louisiana.
I also consider myself to be very humble. I do not come from a family of money. You could have more or less than me, and I won't really care about that. My mom taught us not to judge the way others live that is not what matters. It is the way we treat others that matter. I grew up on eating a lot of beans and tortillas. My mother would hardly buy us any fast food. She would say that there was food at home, and that there was no need to stop at a McDonald's. My house was considered to be a full house. We only had two bedrooms and we were seven people total living in the house. For the following reasons I believe myself to be humble because I know where I come from.
I am Lorena Borjas the daughter of immigrants. I am a Mexican-American. I am bi-lingual. I have an accent. This is were I come from. This is the culture, the people, and the experiences that shaped me into the way I am today.
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When I arrived to Zavala elementary I was put into bi-lingual classes, but never I never spoke English to communicate with the teachers. We read some books in English, but we mainly communicated with our teachers in Spanish. Maybe because the teachers knew a lot of Mexican kids attend that school. Do not get me wrong we also had those kids that spoke good English. In fact when we took our TAKS test in the fifth grade I was the only one in the bi-lingual classes to pass all of the tests. My teacher was really proud of me, but now that I'm grown I think maybe the reason why some of them failed was because of the fact that the tests were in English.
Thinking back, I really did not have the need to talk in English throughout elementary all the way to high school. It was until college when I realized that I needed to communicate more in English because I was no longer in my territory. I then became uncomfortable with my English because even though I could speak it I realized I had an accent. The accent that I have become so ashamed of. My accent in a way has become one of my insecurities, throughout my college years. Even though I know there's other students with heavier accents I know that there is also those who nearly have no accent. I feel the pressure then to try to get rid of it. Sometimes I'll holdback on my questions or comments in school because I do not know if people are going to judge me because of my accent.
Growing up in Central shaped me in a way were we were not truly allowed to show weakness. When we got there it was still the time where the Cholos existed. If you were called on for something by someone who did not agree with you, you would fight with them, and you could not backdown from a fight. You needed to have your own back if you were picked on. Sort of this mentality that I had a that time was also influenced by my brother. He told me if I were to ever picked on, not to ever take it from anyone. But he was in that cholo back then and he had that hood mentality. I was brought up to be a strong individual because of where I was brought up, and because the men in my family taught me to be that way. I also remember looking up to my father thinking how strong he was because even though he went through his daily struggles to provide for us, his family I NEVER saw him breakdown, but only once in my life (well before my mom fell sick, three years ago). My sister and my cousins have always told me that they admire me for how strong I am, but I'm telling you now the reasons why I think I'm that way. I remember once we had a class assignment in high school in which we had to talk about who we looked more up to our mothers or our fathers, and I remember saying my father. I remember my teacher asking me why? And me responding because he's the one with the greater income in the household. I remember thinking at that moment hopefully one day I could earn good money like him so I don't ever have to depend on a man. Do not get me wrong I love my mom, but my dad had a little extra to him that made him admire him more. Every since I can remember my dad has always been a hardworking man. For that reason I think I am a very hardworking person. He was a man who showed us respect, and for that reason I think I'm a respectful person. He's a man that has taught me if you want something, you have to go and get it. I consider myself to be ambitious to want more and better things in my life. For example earning my degree. I think I got that from my dad. I remember once we had a conversation perseverance. I remember him saying "it's about what you want, how bad you want it, and what you're willing to do to get there". I remember him also saying in Spanish "Ay que darle chingazos ala vida". Those words are still applied in my everyday life.
I am also a caring person, and I believe that came from my mother. As she was always watching out for all of us. And she always wanted to see us united as a family. She watched out for all of us. Even though I have no kids I like to watch out for my family members just as my mom once did.
I have also been told that from the family I'm the more outspoken one. The blunt one. My mom would always tell me to hold my tongue back just so that I would not create any problems. So that I would not find myself in trouble for speaking too much. My sister always told me that she does not understand how I could tell my dad certain stuff she would not. My dad could tell her something, but she would respond back with an o.k., but if my father tells me something I do not agree with I would call him off on it. I do not consider myself to be a rude person, but If I don't agree with you best believe I'll let you know. It's rare but, I might even forget about the shame of my accent.
As for my work identity it relates to the identity I have at home. I am an employer at Cinemark. I have worked there for almost three years and eight months. For the most part I feel comfortable to be who I am there. Most of my co-workers are from Mexican descent but, hardly speak any Spanish. I communicate with them in English and Spanish and they understand me. I feel like I could express myself freely there as a Mexican-American person because I've spent so much time there I can't hide what I am. They know about my accent, my cholo brothers that are all tatted up, and how much I love eating hot Cheetos with lime and Louisiana.
I also consider myself to be very humble. I do not come from a family of money. You could have more or less than me, and I won't really care about that. My mom taught us not to judge the way others live that is not what matters. It is the way we treat others that matter. I grew up on eating a lot of beans and tortillas. My mother would hardly buy us any fast food. She would say that there was food at home, and that there was no need to stop at a McDonald's. My house was considered to be a full house. We only had two bedrooms and we were seven people total living in the house. For the following reasons I believe myself to be humble because I know where I come from.
I am Lorena Borjas the daughter of immigrants. I am a Mexican-American. I am bi-lingual. I have an accent. This is were I come from. This is the culture, the people, and the experiences that shaped me into the way I am today.
